November Meeting

The topic this month was "Parenting Tips for the stressed out Mom." What Mom couldnt benefit from this?! Our speaker was Bro. Robert Francis, who is a licensed social worker and works full time as a Counselor at East Union Church. He did a WONDERFUL job and I know many of us had those "ah ha!" moments as he explained the Seven Basic Steps to Effective Parenting. Here are my notes:

1.Get the Big Picture in Focus

~Our goal in parenting is NOT to raise "good kids," but to raise "good adults."

~He explained that the frontal lobes of children's brains (which controls thoughts, reasoning, etc) arent fully developed until the early 20's....so in other words, when we think of our preschoolers/young children/teens, we need to remember: "God isnt done with them yet!"

~We shouldnt try to control our children so that they act like "perfect" children, but allow for them "be kids" so that later in life they will be able to function INDEPENDENTLY as Godly, Mature adults.

2. Allow for Normal Development

~They are NOT little adults. You shouldnt make/expect them to sit for an hour (like in church) They need to be with other kids or be able to do things that are developmentally appropriate.

~*Play* is a kid's "work." Do not underestimate the importance of play in a child's life. It helps them learn social cues (by playing with others) as well as other benefits.

3.Use 5-1 Positive to Negative Interactions

~We are negative by nature, we are usually complainers.

~The Bible says "Words Kill, words Heal."

~Example: Difference in wording:

"Stop Running!!!" vs. "Why dont we walk?"

~Remember to catch your children doing "good" stuff and tell them. Kids that only hear negative interactions grow up depressed or think "I am bad."

4. Pick your Battles

~Choose battles that can negatively affect: Character, Future, Safety

~Dont let "your nerves" be a determinding factor. If your children are doing something that annoys you, but otherwise has no negative consequences....is it really worth having a battle over?

~Example: Rap music (teens) might not be the parent's taste of a music, but if the words are not offensive (or affect character, future, safety) then let them listen to it.

5. Use natural and logical consequences

~Example-Your child wants to go outside in 45 degree weather without a coat. LET HIM! It wont take long for him/her to learn that the coat makes him/her feel better!

6. Be involved-But not TOO involved

~There is a scary trend of "overinvolved" parents, particularly Moms

~The real world is not a perfect place and as parents we are not preparing them for the world if we dont:

1. Let them Frustrate a little

2. Let them Hurt a little

~Do not Micromanage their lives.

There is an alarming number of girls who are "cutting" and one reason is b/c it is something *they can control.*

Kids that have parents who micromanage/do everything for them/control every decision are not learning to be responsible adults, with solid self esteem.

7. Make Spouse #1 Priority

~Take the focus off of the kids and put it on the parents.

~Parents should go on a date night TWICE a month. Do not feel guilty leaving your children (with a caregiver who you trust). A happy Daddy and Mommy makes a Happy Family.

~The best thing we can do for our children is for the wife to love her husband and vice versa. It gives the kids a sense of stability and teaches them how to develop their own relationships/marriage later.

Thank You to Lime Lions for a delicious breakfast!

In Moppets, our kids had a bible lesson, snacks, made turkeys, had music time with Bro. Mark and indoor playtime. Thank You to our MOPPET volunteers!!!!

More announcements to come....